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| Jan 13, 2006 3:55 pm |
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Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms |
Sandra Harmon
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The following article is from Redbook. I thought it might be interesting and helpful. It is called,
What Have You Done for Your O Lately?
Most women view their ability (or inability) to achieve awe-inspiring orgasms as pure luck of the draw. It's as if we think an Orgasm Fairy comes down and blesses some lucky gals with earthquaking O's and the rest of us with climaxes that wouldn't even register on the Richter scale ‑- and worse, that there's not a heckuva lot we can do to change our fate. But guess what? There is something ‑- in fact, there are lots of things ‑- you can do about the frequency and intensity of your orgasms. And we're not just talking Kegels (though, yes, those help, too). Here's what researchers want you to know. Because face it: You can't spell the words "hot"...or "love"...or "ohmigod" without lots and lots of O's.
Orgasm Enhancers #1-7
Put a lock on the bedroom door.
"It's one of the best things women with children can do," says Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook. "That simple lock will allow you to concentrate on the sensual sensations rather than concentrating on whether or not Junior is going to wander in." And once those anxieties are banished, you can fully surrender to the moment.
Order fries with that burger.
Potatoes contain vitamin B5, which is essential to sex-hormone production ‑- and sex hormones are essential for crossing the finish line. Score!
Take a peek.
Remember on Sex and the City when Charlotte examined her vagina with a mirror so she could face her sexual hang-ups? Turns out she was onto something: "When you know how your most private parts look with the lights on, you're creating sexual self-awareness and boosting your body image," says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. "Both of those factors will help increase your own sexual response ‑- which may mean bigger orgasms."
Treat yourself to a bikini wax.
For many women, the less hair there is down there, the stronger the O. "Right after I got a Brazilian this summer, I had this frenzied, crazy sex with my husband, which ended in our having our first-ever simultaneous orgasms!" recalls Alex Sena, 35, of Ontario, California. "I guess it was the friction or something. Afterward, we both wanted to send my waxer flowers!"
Just breathe.
During orgasm, women tend to hold their breath, which increases tension and intensifies sensations ‑- all good! But you will experience deeper orgasms if you take lots of slow, deep breaths before you climax, says Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D., author of The Case of the Female Orgasm. "Unlike heart rate or blood pressure, breathing is the only physiological system affected by intercourse that can be voluntarily controlled," she explains. "Deep breathing encourages blood flow to your genitals and increases sexual energy." So taking lots of deep breaths before you cross the finish line will leave you even more breathless when you do.
Do it more often.
"There is definitely a use-it-or-lose-it aspect to orgasm," Kerner says. "If you don't contract those sex muscles often enough, it's harder to have an orgasm the next time." The more you prioritize happy endings, the more you'll have 'em.
Psych yourself up.
Hypnosis increases arousal and can even bring on orgasms, according to Shelley Stockwell, Ph.D., author of Hypnosis: How to Put a Smile on Your Face and Money in Your Pocket. Intrigued? Try this two-minute mental foreplay move tonight ‑- hypnotists call it "immediate regression":
-Close your eyes and visualize the moment when you and he met, or the first time you made love. "Your body chemistry changes when revisiting lovely thoughts, and that endorphin rush you experience via visualization will boost your orgasmic potential," Stockwell explains.
-Next, as he's kissing your neck and caressing your nether regions, smile widely ‑- you may feel a little silly, but "smiling puts your mind at ease while transmitting a palpable sense of joy to you and your partner," Stockwell says.
-Finally, as you're building to the finish, rattle off a few affirmations such as "I'm losing control" or "You're going to give me the best orgasm ever!" By saying it, you're making it so.
Orgasm Enhancers #8-15
Talk about sex.
If you want to be more orgasmic, fill your man in on what you're loving and longing for in bed, say researchers. Not only will that kind of candid talk build intimacy, but his knowing what flips your switch will make O's stronger. During the afterglow, Kerner suggests, tell your partner what rocked about your lovemaking ("I loved it when you did that..."), then talk about what could make it even hotter next time ("It would be such a turn-on if you did this...!").
Sip a cup of warm tea with honey before you bonk.
Not only will the caffeine boost your energy levels, but the honey also enhances blood levels of testosterone, the hormone responsible for promoting orgasm in both men and women. Oh, honey...!
Crank up the heat.
Getting sweaty can add heat between the sheets. "When your body temperature is elevated, your nerve endings are more sensitive and receptive," explains Lloyd. To test this theory, turn up the thermostat or get physical in front of a roaring fire. But don't overdo it ‑- if you get too overheated, you'll feel burned-out instead of turned on.
Touch yourself.
Researchers have found that women who masturbate have more intense orgasms than women who don't. Once you can make yourself climax, it will be easier for you to guide your partner to do the same. "Plus, masturbation increases the flow of blood to the genitals," Kerner says, "and this overall vascularity is important in sexual response." Translation: When your blood is flowing, you'll soon be glowing!
Eat red meat.
Dining on a thick steak curbs your body's production of the protein hormone prolactin, which contributes to sexual dysfunction. So have one medium-rare steak and you'll be raring to go! (Vegetarian? Eating brown rice curbs prolactin production too.)
Duke it out.
Some couples get off on fighting and having makeup sex, because it intensifies orgasm, says Paget. "That adrenaline rush you get when you're angry is similar to what happens to your brain when you get turned on sexually, so it's like you're doubly excited," she explains. Test this theory after your next tiff subsides: Give him a long, hot kiss instead of the cold shoulder ‑- then wait for fireworks.
Squeeze and release your PC muscles while doing the deed.
"He'll fill you up even more when you give him a love squeeze, which is a great sensation for you," says Kerner. "And since an orgasm is a series of muscular contractions, this exercise can actually trigger yours ‑- making your climax that much more consuming."
Get creative.
A little fantasy can release the wild woman within and kick those O's up a notch. In fact, sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that 2 percent of women could achieve orgasm by fantasy alone. "Any time you use your most powerful sex organ ‑- your brain ‑- to its best advantage, all sensations will escalate," says Paget. If you're nervous about sharing, tell your partner you had a hot "dream" last night, then bare every X-rated detail.
Orgasm Enhancers #16-23
Remind yourself how much you love him.
Orgasms are more euphoric if you're in love, according to a study conducted by Gemma O'Brien, Ph.D., of the University of New England. O'Brien found that the three major brain systems involved in sexual climax are euphoria, pleasure and emotion. The fact that the brain's emotion center lights up during O proves there's a biological link between sex and love. To work this mental mojo to your advantage, focus on how much you adore your man before foreplay, keep your eyes open during the act, then brace yourself for the frenzied crescendo to follow.
Ask him to tug your hair.
Reason: The scalp has millions of nerve endings. When he pulls lightly on your hair in the home stretch, explains Kerner, endorphins are released and orgasm is intensified.
Get on top.
Lloyd has pored through 70 years of sex studies and found that in every single one, the majority of women who reliably had O's during intercourse were positioned on top. So hop on!
Stretch each morning.
The more flexible you are out of bed, the more flexible you'll be in bed ‑- which will help you position yourself for better orgasms, according to yoga instructor Teigh McDonough, cofounder of Swerve Studio in Los Angeles. For basic flexibility, she recommends the "cat": Get on all fours, with your hands directly underneath your shoulders and your knees directly beneath your hips. Inhale deeply and arch your back, elongating your spine from the top of your neck to your tailbone. Look upward slightly. Then exhale and tuck in your tailbone, dropping your head and pressing the middle of your spine up toward the ceiling. Repeat 10 times for better flex and better sex!
Bend with your knees ‑- never your waist ‑- when picking up groceries or kids.
This will put less strain on your back muscles. What does this have to do with your sex life? Plenty: Keeping those lower back muscles strong will help you position your pelvis for a gigantic O. When he's on top, being able to push down on your lower back muscles ensures closer contact, which stimulates your G-spot.
Have sex with the lights blazing.
"Many women are uncomfortable with their bodies, and want to hide in the dark," says Kerner. But here's a little secret: If you fake body confidence, you'll actually feel less self-conscious ‑- and have hotter sex as a result. "That rush of accomplishment you get from facing your fear and doing it anyway will pay off," promises Kerner. So let there be light!
Empty your head.
Write tomorrow's to-do list before you slip under the sheets, so "I have to pick up the dry cleaning" doesn't pop into your head and derail your O. (Getting lipstick on his collar: turn-on. Obsessing about whether the stain will come out: turnoff!) "The more you concentrate on the sex you're having," says Paget, "the more enjoyable your finish will be."
Sweat a little.
Hitting the gym improves your sex life, according to a University of Arkansas study. Aerobic exercise, in particular, stimulates the release of endorphins, which boost libido, and increases blood flow to the genitals, which ups sexual sensations and satisfaction. This came as a nice surprise to Jenny Shrum, 31, of Omaha, who thought exercise would tire her out and kill her desire, but found that the opposite happened when she started working out. "Now if I skip Pilates class," she says, "I notice a difference in the bedroom."
What Has Your O Done for You Lately?
Hmm ‑- how do orgasms help you? Let us count the ways! They make you feel amazing, alive, goddess-like, bonded to your man, ready to conquer the world. But there are some more concrete benefits too, explains Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.
Orgasms relieve tension.
When you climax, your heart rate speeds up, your blood flow increases, and your muscles contract. But then your entire body relaxes ‑- and all the tensions pent up in your nervous system melt away.
Orgasms help you sleep.
When you peak, your body releases endorphins, which act as natural tranquilizers. That's why you get that drowsy feeling after lovemaking.
Orgasms help vaginal health.
"They keep blood flowing to your vagina," says Goldman. "And they help keep you lubricated, which means vaginal muscles won't atrophy, so you'll have better sex and less incontinence later in life."
Orgasms burn calories.
You burn as many as 200 calories by having an O after a half-hour lovemaking session. (If you don't climax, you'll burn roughly half that many calories.)
Orgasms relieve pain.
The endorphins and oxytocin that are released during sex can increase your pain tolerance by as much as 70 percent. Studies have shown that having an O relieves menstrual cramps ‑- even after the sex is over.
Orgasms calm sweets cravings.
How? They activate the production of phenetylamine, a natural amphetamine that acts as an appetite suppressant.
O My! Did You Know?
In the Victorian era, orgasm was considered the cause of hysteria ‑- and its cure. The myth led to the invention of the vibrator in the 1880s to cure women of this disorder.
An orgasm is a reflex that occurs when muscle tension and blood flow to the pelvis reach a pleasurable peak and are dispersed. Orgasm occurs when the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle group that supports the pelvic floor spasms rhythmically at 0.8 second intervals and the heart rate accelerates rapidly (often as high as 180 beats a minute), slowing down after.
A new sex study from the Berman Center in Chicago found that 55% of women in relationships use vibrators. Only 34% of single women do the same.
Peak or panic?
The parts of the brain that govern fear and anxiety are actually switched off when a woman is having an orgasm (they remain active if she is faking), according to a study conducted in the Netherlands. So that's the point of the mile-high club....
Private Reply to Sandra Harmon (new win) |
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