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| | The The CopyWriters Connection Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts | | New Member. | Views: 362 | | Jul 30, 2005 3:55 pm | | New Member. | # | 
Bea Kunz | | Good-morning Steven & everyone,
Thanks for such an informative site.
I have read a lot of your postings and find them rather
interesting as well as accurate.
I'm an article writer and enjoy writing my own sales copy etc.
I have a very successful business on a local level, but
looking for ways to make my internet business more
profitable. I believe the way I'm presenting my site
needs some changing, just not 100% sure what those changes should be.
So, could I please ask for a review ?
'Bea's Beatitudes' is a bi-weekly article/newsletter I write for: http://www.iwomenswork.com
My web site is:
http://www.sagehillfarmsandvintagestore.com
If anyone would like to read my 'bio' you can do that
from my 'Ryze' page.
I know I will learn a lot here, I will try to contribute
something of value to others.
I think I understood the posting rules, if I committed
any no no's, I'm sure you will let me know.
Be Well,
Bea Kunz.
http://www.sagehillfarmsandvintagestore.com
Private Reply to Bea Kunz | | Jul 31, 2005 10:27 pm | | re: New Member. | # | 
Steven Boaze | | Hello Bea,
Welcome to the group. I am proud to see a fellow
farmer with us. I myself grew up on a tobacco
farm in Virginia, and still do, but we don't
raise tobacco any longer, instead we lease out
some of our farm for vegetables and Alfalfa for
feed.
It is great to have you here with us. You are
always welcome to post here.
Now on with your website critique....
As I view your homepage, the copy is a real good
"About Us" page instead of reaching out to the
visitor and turning them into a buyer. What this
means is to write a compelling reason why they
should but your products, while explaining the
"features" mixed in with the "Benefits" in which
your potential customers can related to.
Here are just a few things you can do with your
homepage, and I'll get into the other pages in
a moment.
Use bullets- People spend a lot of time reading
bulleted lists. In fact, they often reread them
over and over. Use bulleted lists to stress the
benefits of your product or service, to spell out
exactly what is included in your offer. Use an
extra space in between each bullet to really
highlight each line and create a sense of more
length to the list.
Stress the benefits, not the features- Again,
readers want the burning question answered, "What's
in it for me?" What need is it going to meet?
What want is it going to fill? How is your product
or service going to be of value or benefit to the
reader? Spell it out. Don't focus on the features
of your product or service , but rather how those
features will add value to the life of your reader.
For example: If you are selling automobile tires,
you may very well have the largest assortment of tires
in the world, but who cares? I don't care about your
selection. But, I do care about keeping my family
being safe while we are traveling. So, instead of
focusing on your selection, you focus on the fact
that my family can be kept safe because you have a
tire that will fit my car. You're not selling tires,
you're selling safety for my family. Stress the
benefits, not the features.
Use similes and metaphors for effect- When the
customer purchases your product, they will generate
"a flood of traffic that would make Noah start
building another ark." If they do not order today,
then they will "feel like a cat that let the mouse
get away." Use words to create a picture in the
readers' mind. When you think of Superman, what
comes to mind? Immediately, we remember that he is
"faster than a speeding bullet." "More powerful than
a locomotive." "Able to leap tall buildings in a
single bound." See how word pictures stick in our
minds?
Make it stand out- Don't kid yourself. There are
hundreds, maybe thousands out there on the web doing
the same thing you are doing. How will you stand
out among the crowd? Your sales letter must inject
personality. It must breathe of originality. Your
product or service is different. It's not like all
of the rest. It is unique. Right? Your sales letter
must separate you from the competition. It must create
a feeling of "You won't find this anywhere else."
Use testimonials to boost your sales- Share actual
excerpts from what your current customers are saying
about your product or service. Many websites have an
entire section or even a separate page that has
endorsements and compliments listed. Satisfied customers
remove some of the doubt in the mind of the reader.
"If these people have found a lot of value and benefit
in the product, then I probably will too." Especially
effective are testimonials from respected, well known
"authorities" within your target field.
ABOUT US
Who are you? From what I can tell on homepage, your are a
"family owned and operated 'herb' farm." This clearly
is an "About Us" copy and not "homepage" material. Now,
This isn't to say that the copy is bad. This copy is
excellent. This should be another page called "About Us"
and not your homepage copy.
Write a complete new homepage copy explaining what your
product will do for your potential customers, and I'll
guarantee you'll see a huge difference in your conversions.
Make a new page for "About Us" for your company bio.
DISCLAIMERS.
The internet is a fine line between who's real, and who
isn't. Doing e-commerce has its advantages as far as
time ordering. This convenience will always overtake
traditional ordering offline.
From what I can see, you do have a policy in place, but
with the new spam laws, copyright suits, and identity
theft on the rise, you cannot go wrong by NOT having
enough disclaimers on your website. These are very, very
valuable, especially if you are operating a newsletter.
I'll get to that later in a moment, but now you need to
have in place a more sound "disclaimer" telling your
customers what you are/are not liable for and what "they"
are/are not liable for. Not only will this convey trust
to do business with you, this ALWAYS covers you doing
e-commerce so that above and beyond any kind of un-natural
problem or event, which may happen, you are not held
liable for.
If you were not selling on the internet, then you would
be OK with having a simple policy in place. But that you
are selling on the web, then it is wise to have (in your
case) the following types:
a) Terms of Service
b) Privacy Policy
c) Spam Policy
These policies give you the added protection against any
one who may try and file a complaint against you,
especially if you were selling software. But this also
goes for any links that may be a download link to some-
thing that could harm or destroy data on your potential
customer's machine as well.
NEWSLETTER
Your newsletter is your most valuable marketing tool.
I noticed that you do not have a "Spam Policy" for
your visitors, to "click" and agree before signing
up for your publication. This is a huge mistake.
Let me explain why....
If I visited your website, and wanted to know more
about you and your company, I would then sign-up
for your newsletter, right? Well, let's say that
I forgot that I signed up or maybe someone else
signed me up, and I complained that you are in fact,
spamming me, then I can report you for spamming and
possibly sue you for this. Having a "check box" and
make it a "required field" would eliminate any doubt
that the person who try to complain that you are
spamming them, has now guarded you from being falsely
accused, because you have covered all your basis to
ensure "they" agree to your spam policy before being
able to subscribe to your newsletter.
An example of one of my spam policies:
http://www.copywriteplus.com/pol/spam.php
BTW- your newsletter conversions will be much higher
if you place your newsletter subscription form on
homepage.
I hope this helps Bea, and welcome to the group.
Steven Boaze
Private Reply to Steven Boaze | | |
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