|
|  |
| |
|
| | The Love, Marriage, Relationships Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts | | Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | Views: 1350 | | Jan 13, 2006 3:55 pm | | Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # | 
Sandra Harmon | | The following article is from Redbook. I thought it might be interesting and helpful. It is called,
What Have You Done for Your O Lately?
Most women view their ability (or inability) to achieve awe-inspiring orgasms as pure luck of the draw. It's as if we think an Orgasm Fairy comes down and blesses some lucky gals with earthquaking O's and the rest of us with climaxes that wouldn't even register on the Richter scale ‑- and worse, that there's not a heckuva lot we can do to change our fate. But guess what? There is something ‑- in fact, there are lots of things ‑- you can do about the frequency and intensity of your orgasms. And we're not just talking Kegels (though, yes, those help, too). Here's what researchers want you to know. Because face it: You can't spell the words "hot"...or "love"...or "ohmigod" without lots and lots of O's.
Orgasm Enhancers #1-7
Put a lock on the bedroom door.
"It's one of the best things women with children can do," says Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook. "That simple lock will allow you to concentrate on the sensual sensations rather than concentrating on whether or not Junior is going to wander in." And once those anxieties are banished, you can fully surrender to the moment.
Order fries with that burger.
Potatoes contain vitamin B5, which is essential to sex-hormone production ‑- and sex hormones are essential for crossing the finish line. Score!
Take a peek.
Remember on Sex and the City when Charlotte examined her vagina with a mirror so she could face her sexual hang-ups? Turns out she was onto something: "When you know how your most private parts look with the lights on, you're creating sexual self-awareness and boosting your body image," says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. "Both of those factors will help increase your own sexual response ‑- which may mean bigger orgasms."
Treat yourself to a bikini wax.
For many women, the less hair there is down there, the stronger the O. "Right after I got a Brazilian this summer, I had this frenzied, crazy sex with my husband, which ended in our having our first-ever simultaneous orgasms!" recalls Alex Sena, 35, of Ontario, California. "I guess it was the friction or something. Afterward, we both wanted to send my waxer flowers!"
Just breathe.
During orgasm, women tend to hold their breath, which increases tension and intensifies sensations ‑- all good! But you will experience deeper orgasms if you take lots of slow, deep breaths before you climax, says Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D., author of The Case of the Female Orgasm. "Unlike heart rate or blood pressure, breathing is the only physiological system affected by intercourse that can be voluntarily controlled," she explains. "Deep breathing encourages blood flow to your genitals and increases sexual energy." So taking lots of deep breaths before you cross the finish line will leave you even more breathless when you do.
Do it more often.
"There is definitely a use-it-or-lose-it aspect to orgasm," Kerner says. "If you don't contract those sex muscles often enough, it's harder to have an orgasm the next time." The more you prioritize happy endings, the more you'll have 'em.
Psych yourself up.
Hypnosis increases arousal and can even bring on orgasms, according to Shelley Stockwell, Ph.D., author of Hypnosis: How to Put a Smile on Your Face and Money in Your Pocket. Intrigued? Try this two-minute mental foreplay move tonight ‑- hypnotists call it "immediate regression":
-Close your eyes and visualize the moment when you and he met, or the first time you made love. "Your body chemistry changes when revisiting lovely thoughts, and that endorphin rush you experience via visualization will boost your orgasmic potential," Stockwell explains.
-Next, as he's kissing your neck and caressing your nether regions, smile widely ‑- you may feel a little silly, but "smiling puts your mind at ease while transmitting a palpable sense of joy to you and your partner," Stockwell says.
-Finally, as you're building to the finish, rattle off a few affirmations such as "I'm losing control" or "You're going to give me the best orgasm ever!" By saying it, you're making it so.
Orgasm Enhancers #8-15
Talk about sex.
If you want to be more orgasmic, fill your man in on what you're loving and longing for in bed, say researchers. Not only will that kind of candid talk build intimacy, but his knowing what flips your switch will make O's stronger. During the afterglow, Kerner suggests, tell your partner what rocked about your lovemaking ("I loved it when you did that..."), then talk about what could make it even hotter next time ("It would be such a turn-on if you did this...!").
Sip a cup of warm tea with honey before you bonk.
Not only will the caffeine boost your energy levels, but the honey also enhances blood levels of testosterone, the hormone responsible for promoting orgasm in both men and women. Oh, honey...!
Crank up the heat.
Getting sweaty can add heat between the sheets. "When your body temperature is elevated, your nerve endings are more sensitive and receptive," explains Lloyd. To test this theory, turn up the thermostat or get physical in front of a roaring fire. But don't overdo it ‑- if you get too overheated, you'll feel burned-out instead of turned on.
Touch yourself.
Researchers have found that women who masturbate have more intense orgasms than women who don't. Once you can make yourself climax, it will be easier for you to guide your partner to do the same. "Plus, masturbation increases the flow of blood to the genitals," Kerner says, "and this overall vascularity is important in sexual response." Translation: When your blood is flowing, you'll soon be glowing!
Eat red meat.
Dining on a thick steak curbs your body's production of the protein hormone prolactin, which contributes to sexual dysfunction. So have one medium-rare steak and you'll be raring to go! (Vegetarian? Eating brown rice curbs prolactin production too.)
Duke it out.
Some couples get off on fighting and having makeup sex, because it intensifies orgasm, says Paget. "That adrenaline rush you get when you're angry is similar to what happens to your brain when you get turned on sexually, so it's like you're doubly excited," she explains. Test this theory after your next tiff subsides: Give him a long, hot kiss instead of the cold shoulder ‑- then wait for fireworks.
Squeeze and release your PC muscles while doing the deed.
"He'll fill you up even more when you give him a love squeeze, which is a great sensation for you," says Kerner. "And since an orgasm is a series of muscular contractions, this exercise can actually trigger yours ‑- making your climax that much more consuming."
Get creative.
A little fantasy can release the wild woman within and kick those O's up a notch. In fact, sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that 2 percent of women could achieve orgasm by fantasy alone. "Any time you use your most powerful sex organ ‑- your brain ‑- to its best advantage, all sensations will escalate," says Paget. If you're nervous about sharing, tell your partner you had a hot "dream" last night, then bare every X-rated detail.
Orgasm Enhancers #16-23
Remind yourself how much you love him.
Orgasms are more euphoric if you're in love, according to a study conducted by Gemma O'Brien, Ph.D., of the University of New England. O'Brien found that the three major brain systems involved in sexual climax are euphoria, pleasure and emotion. The fact that the brain's emotion center lights up during O proves there's a biological link between sex and love. To work this mental mojo to your advantage, focus on how much you adore your man before foreplay, keep your eyes open during the act, then brace yourself for the frenzied crescendo to follow.
Ask him to tug your hair.
Reason: The scalp has millions of nerve endings. When he pulls lightly on your hair in the home stretch, explains Kerner, endorphins are released and orgasm is intensified.
Get on top.
Lloyd has pored through 70 years of sex studies and found that in every single one, the majority of women who reliably had O's during intercourse were positioned on top. So hop on!
Stretch each morning.
The more flexible you are out of bed, the more flexible you'll be in bed ‑- which will help you position yourself for better orgasms, according to yoga instructor Teigh McDonough, cofounder of Swerve Studio in Los Angeles. For basic flexibility, she recommends the "cat": Get on all fours, with your hands directly underneath your shoulders and your knees directly beneath your hips. Inhale deeply and arch your back, elongating your spine from the top of your neck to your tailbone. Look upward slightly. Then exhale and tuck in your tailbone, dropping your head and pressing the middle of your spine up toward the ceiling. Repeat 10 times for better flex and better sex!
Bend with your knees ‑- never your waist ‑- when picking up groceries or kids.
This will put less strain on your back muscles. What does this have to do with your sex life? Plenty: Keeping those lower back muscles strong will help you position your pelvis for a gigantic O. When he's on top, being able to push down on your lower back muscles ensures closer contact, which stimulates your G-spot.
Have sex with the lights blazing.
"Many women are uncomfortable with their bodies, and want to hide in the dark," says Kerner. But here's a little secret: If you fake body confidence, you'll actually feel less self-conscious ‑- and have hotter sex as a result. "That rush of accomplishment you get from facing your fear and doing it anyway will pay off," promises Kerner. So let there be light!
Empty your head.
Write tomorrow's to-do list before you slip under the sheets, so "I have to pick up the dry cleaning" doesn't pop into your head and derail your O. (Getting lipstick on his collar: turn-on. Obsessing about whether the stain will come out: turnoff!) "The more you concentrate on the sex you're having," says Paget, "the more enjoyable your finish will be."
Sweat a little.
Hitting the gym improves your sex life, according to a University of Arkansas study. Aerobic exercise, in particular, stimulates the release of endorphins, which boost libido, and increases blood flow to the genitals, which ups sexual sensations and satisfaction. This came as a nice surprise to Jenny Shrum, 31, of Omaha, who thought exercise would tire her out and kill her desire, but found that the opposite happened when she started working out. "Now if I skip Pilates class," she says, "I notice a difference in the bedroom."
What Has Your O Done for You Lately?
Hmm ‑- how do orgasms help you? Let us count the ways! They make you feel amazing, alive, goddess-like, bonded to your man, ready to conquer the world. But there are some more concrete benefits too, explains Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.
Orgasms relieve tension.
When you climax, your heart rate speeds up, your blood flow increases, and your muscles contract. But then your entire body relaxes ‑- and all the tensions pent up in your nervous system melt away.
Orgasms help you sleep.
When you peak, your body releases endorphins, which act as natural tranquilizers. That's why you get that drowsy feeling after lovemaking.
Orgasms help vaginal health.
"They keep blood flowing to your vagina," says Goldman. "And they help keep you lubricated, which means vaginal muscles won't atrophy, so you'll have better sex and less incontinence later in life."
Orgasms burn calories.
You burn as many as 200 calories by having an O after a half-hour lovemaking session. (If you don't climax, you'll burn roughly half that many calories.)
Orgasms relieve pain.
The endorphins and oxytocin that are released during sex can increase your pain tolerance by as much as 70 percent. Studies have shown that having an O relieves menstrual cramps ‑- even after the sex is over.
Orgasms calm sweets cravings.
How? They activate the production of phenetylamine, a natural amphetamine that acts as an appetite suppressant.
O My! Did You Know?
In the Victorian era, orgasm was considered the cause of hysteria ‑- and its cure. The myth led to the invention of the vibrator in the 1880s to cure women of this disorder.
An orgasm is a reflex that occurs when muscle tension and blood flow to the pelvis reach a pleasurable peak and are dispersed. Orgasm occurs when the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle group that supports the pelvic floor spasms rhythmically at 0.8 second intervals and the heart rate accelerates rapidly (often as high as 180 beats a minute), slowing down after.
A new sex study from the Berman Center in Chicago found that 55% of women in relationships use vibrators. Only 34% of single women do the same.
Peak or panic?
The parts of the brain that govern fear and anxiety are actually switched off when a woman is having an orgasm (they remain active if she is faking), according to a study conducted in the Netherlands. So that's the point of the mile-high club....
Private Reply to Sandra Harmon | | Jan 14, 2006 2:57 am | | re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # |
Crystal Smalls | | Good day,
I have found the question and answers given to improving your "O" quite amusing. There are a million little things that a person can do to try to improve an "O", but there is only one real answer for it. That is-maintaining a romantic relationship with your partner just as it was from day one. Remember the day when you guys first met? or when you hung up the phone from that first phone call? or even your first date? how about when you first made love? All of those things above is what held couples, married or not, together up to this day now. That spark and exhilaration that was felt during those first days is what needs to stay maintained for a better "O". After couples become so used to eachother they tend to lose that "umph". It is not so exciting to go to that movie, dinner, or play anymore as it was in the beginning. Because now we have kids, more bills, or even a stressful day at work. To overcome all of the relationship obstacles and have a better sex life, is to hold on to that feeling and thought from that first initial meet. I have conducted so many surveys regarding this topic and other relationship topics and have found that couples still want that special first meet feeling but don't know how to get it back. The problem is these people never lost it, it's still there. We just need to get it back. Have a great day all.
Crystal Smalls
http://www.BoxofSexy.comPrivate Reply to Crystal Smalls | | Jan 14, 2006 12:15 pm | | re: re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # |
Sandra Harmon | | Hi Crystal,
Of course it would be great if we could hold on to the same loving, sexual feelings we once had with the person we are with, but usually, time, life, children, and day to day problems interfere. But you can rekindle those old flames.
One way to turn on your man is by wearing sexy lingerie like those featured on your website. What red blooded American man wouldn't be turned on by seeing his lover in one of your sexy outfits?
Sandy Harmon Private Reply to Sandra Harmon | | Jan 18, 2006 3:20 pm | | re: re: re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # | 
John Joseph | | Thanks so much. Surprisingly, some of this I already knew. This is a good thing that we lovers can pass on to our partner, and also facilitate making a better environment as the article stated... locking doors, etc. As Crystal and Sandy stated... men are visually wired so get out that HOT Teddy!
John Private Reply to John Joseph | | Jan 31, 2006 4:38 pm | | re: re: re: re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # | 
Danielle Bailey | | Forget locking doors - hire a babysitter to take them out for pizza! My kids think a locked door means KNOCK AND YELL LOUDER - ugh, mood killer.
Private Reply to Danielle Bailey | | Mar 14, 2006 8:37 am | | re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # | 
sathya says .. .... | | According to Diana Soline.. in one of her workshops.. she said that there are 7 ways a yoni can reach/achieve /have orgasms..
Yes folks, it's true! re 7 places / ways in the genitalia/body that a woman can orgasm. They are:
1)clitoral
2)G-spot
3)vaginal
4)ejaculatory
5)uterine
6)anal
7)full body
phew.,...
Private Reply to sathya says .. .... | | Mar 14, 2006 8:38 am | | re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # |
sathya says .. .... | | Yoni Massage (((LEARN WHO DONT KNOW THE REAL MASSAGE)))
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn.
Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.
The Massage
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage.
Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect.
The Crown Jewel
The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are "crown jewel" of the clitoral system!
Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky.
Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand."]
You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave."
ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.
live love laugh Private Reply to sathya says .. .... | | Mar 14, 2006 2:58 pm | | re: re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # | 
Patricia Barboza TreasuresofPassion.com | | We have a great massage video on how to do this not just to her but to him also. Just watching it makes me relax. It is great. It is called Erotic Massage.
Now if we can just find the time to practice.....
Patricia
Passion PartiesPrivate Reply to Patricia Barboza TreasuresofPassion.com | | Mar 15, 2006 5:30 am | | re: re: re: Women - How To Improve Your Orgasms | # |
sathya says .. .... | | :P @ "Now if we can just find the time to practice....."
so true :PPrivate Reply to sathya says .. .... | | |
| |
| |
