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| | The Love, Marriage, Relationships Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts | | Emotional affairs v/s extra marital affairs | Views: 1057 | | May 09, 2006 5:03 am | | Emotional affairs v/s extra marital affairs | # | 
Lucifers Babe | | We all know what an extra marital affair is. But Emotional affairs??? well its new to me atleast. The marriage experts in the Internet says that emotional affairs is as bad as extra marital affair.
Here's information about what an emotional affair(Only for those who dont know about emotional affairs) An emotional affair generally starts innocently enough as a friendship.
An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.
In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.
If you believe that a person's emotional energy is limited, then if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed.
Through investing emotional energy and time with one another outside the marriage relationship, the former platonic friendship can begin to form a strong emotional bond which hurts the intimacy of the marriage relationship.
While there are those who believe that an emotional affair is harmless, most marriage experts view an emotional affair as cheating without having a sexual relationship.
Emotional affairs are often gateway affairs leading to full blown sexual infidelity.
Now guys ... what is your views on this? Is it okay to have an emotional affair, which might or might not lead into a sexual affair.
Whats your take?Private Reply to Lucifers Babe | | May 09, 2006 8:10 pm | | re: Emotional affairs v/s extra marital affairs | # |
Tulia Tulia | | My take - any emotional engagement that is interfering with your committed relationship is not helpful.
Having said that, there are good reasons why people are attracted to other people besides their special significant other. Trebbe Johnson wrote a really good book on the subject called "The World's a Waiting Lover." I wrote a little review on it here: http://selfhelpjunkies.blogspot.com/.
Cheers,
Chris
Re-Creation Coach
Love Your Work
www.recreationcoaching.comPrivate Reply to Tulia Tulia | | May 10, 2006 8:30 pm | | re: re: Emotional affairs v/s extra marital affairs | # | 
Carla Sanders | | Twice in three days I hear of Trebbe Johnson's book... in fact a close friend just completed a vision quest with her, and I am excited to hear about it this weekend.
I'll be looking for the book now.
I agree, and have experienced, that desire, especially the kinds that show up as emotional love affairs, are sign posts. They are our starving hearts and souls crying out for food that has been missing, a nourishment that is found inside us, in the Divine Self.
When this Divine love affair with one's self begins, it can heal and mend other relationships and make them true and fulfilling. Or it can be felt as a betrayal by one's partner, as severe as an extramarital affair. Many relationships do not survive this transformation of one partner's Self relationship with the Divine Beloved.
Either way, it is risky. When friends or clients consult with me on these matters, I encourage them not to judge the desire, but to listen to it, honor it, feed it. To suppress it is to kill something magnificent wanting to be born.
A marriage that requires self sacrifice needs to be transformed or let go.
Carla
http://carlasanders.com
Private Reply to Carla Sanders | | May 10, 2006 8:53 pm | | re: re: re: Emotional affairs v/s extra marital affairs | # |
Tulia Tulia | | So well put and you are going to LOVE the book Carla. Take head that the first 60-70 pages can be a bit of a struggle. After that it's smooth sailing and a real piece of art!
How interesting about your friend who just completed a vision quest with Trebbe Johnson! Please ask her if she would share her story with the rest of us.
Re-Creation Coach
Love Your Work
www.recreationcoaching.comPrivate Reply to Tulia Tulia | | May 10, 2006 9:36 pm | | re: re: re: Emotional affairs v/s extra marital affairs | # | 
Sandra Harmon | | Ladies and gentlemen,
As far as I am concerned, if your significant other is having an "emotional" relationship albeit not a sexual one with anyone other than you, it is not healthy for your relationship and should be confronted as quickly as possible.
All these high blown ideas I am reading don't make a bit of sense to me. I believe that people often do what they are permitted to do. Same thing with infidelity. People cheat because they are permitted to do so. If they know you will really leave them if they cheat, they usually will not cheat. Same thing with an "emotional affair". They do it because they can. If you feel that it takes away from the relationship you are having with your partner, and I am sure that it would then it must end.
If your partner tells you that its not sexual so you should smile and accept it, tell you partner the price of his or her maintaining an emotional relationship with anyone but you and then make sure he or she pays that price if he or she doesnt end the relationship with the "emotional" other..
Sandy Harmon Private Reply to Sandra Harmon | | |
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